![]() ![]() But women are picky and choose the wrong guys. He is, however, adamant that if he had been homosexual he would have pulled all of the hotties.īishop said: “Before I settled down, I did okay with the ladies. Incinerating your dad cheaply isn’t much of a solution to inflation, but since you’re already considering mental ideas, why not make your dead hamster into a cosy ear-warmer for your daughter? Or fashion a cardboard suit from Amazon boxes? Hey, we should send these to the BBC – they’re great inflation-busting tips.Ī STRAIGHT man is confident that, if he were to have been gay, he would absolutely clean up.ģ8-year-old Martin Bishop, a married father of two, has never been attracted to men. How about a ‘direct cremation’ for a loved one? This means no funeral service whatsoever, guaranteeing the ire of numerous relatives. ‘Will Rishi win the heart and mind of Worcester Woman?’ Of course you could argue that people shouldn’t be in debt over basic necessities like gas, but who cares about wider issues? Far more important is Westminster bubble reporting, eg. There’s also a handy link to Citizens Advice and the usual. The BBC offers chapter and verse on being unable to pay bills, such as agreeing small repayments so that ‘your arrears will grow more slowly’. Still, reading unchallenged verbatim quotes posing as journalism is much cheaper than a Netflix subscription, right? Many meals are vegetarian, calling to mind the medieval diet when peasants ate bland vegetable potage and the rich stuffed their faces with meat.Įnjoy our leaders’ comments reported at face valueĪmong many similar reports, the BBC informs us that: ‘ Rishi Sunak has said he will “get a grip of inflation” before cutting tax.’ That was in July 2022, by the way. Delights such as ‘spinach and chickpeas with bread’ await, where the tastiest element will undoubtedly be the vegetable stock cube. It’s not clear when it became the Beeb’s job to help the public live in poverty, but hey ho. The BBC has ‘developed’ meals costing less than £1 a serving. Maybe you can save on energy by replacing your 60W bulbs with 40W? Wow, this a paradigm shift up there with the heliocentric solar system! Bet you hadn’t thought of that! No, because you’ve got better things to think about. It would really hurt the feelings of poor little companies like Centrica and BP.įind increasingly obscure ways of keeping warmĪ BBC blogger recommends buying flannel sheets instead of cotton. There’s no way they could legislate to put much lower price caps on energy or nationalise anything, even partially. So the Conservative government can’t do anything, much as they’d like to. Inflation is like earthquakes or rain, a natural phenomenon. Keep reminding yourself it’s not the government’s fault Never mind the inconvenience of coordinating your potato consumption with other people or the f**king indignity of getting a neighbour to cook a 15p potato for you. The BBC approvingly reported on a scheme where neighbours take turns to bake a batch of potatoes, which saves money and is good for the environment. Here is our official BBC patronising inflation advice. The onus is on you little people to use less margarine or whatever. THE government is doing its best with inflation, it really is. ![]()
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